Trying to catch the air

How come we always try to own what we can't have?
Why is it that we lust for all that is beyond our reach?

I ask this based on my own experience and many of others, life always seem to play hardball with our emotions and we're always helpless to do anything. It seems like i am always attracted to guys who are not in my reach. Some are in denial while some don't deserve me.
My heart is currently split between two who i may say so myself fit all that i seek for a companion. But it seems like both are accosted with some traits that are lacking. I met F late last year and from day one we were like soulmates, we connected in levels that I never thought were possible. For the first and only time I can say for sure that I was really in love, I gave to him my all and was content with life. But he kinda developed cold feet and along the way we drifted apart. I was really hurt,even wrote about it here. Funny thing is right now we are best of friends and though the feelings remains, i don't regret letting him into my life.

I later met J and though we had so much in common and i have a thing for him, i don't see us going anywhere. He's kinda conflicted thinking that he's sinning and that he will grow out of being gay.




AirPlanes - B.O.B feat Hayley Williams

ALL I WANT

With a pen and paper i'm truly blessed
For words in lines I can really express
The unspoken words I can finally address
Thoughts that I deeply suppress
Innermost secrets I can confess
With a pen and paper I can rid of my stress.

With a pen and paper I can open up and say
Of my brighter days when I'm ecstatic and gay
And my dull times when I'm lost and betrayed
Of when I shine as a clear day
And when I'm bleek and gray
Give me a pen and paper I can find my way.
Give me a pen and paper I am second to none
My words like a beacon will forever burn
With a pen and paper, friends and foes I'll earn
Friends will appreciate the fun
While foes will see only the pun
With a pen and paper I am my own man.