A letter to my sister Contd

This is a continuation of my earlier post......

Hi Sis, when I started this letter, I never planned for it to be so reflective and revealing. I just wanted to vent my anger and disappointment with you. Yeah I know but it's a common human trait to use attack as a defence mechanism. I thought that would save me from having to deal with the elephant in the room - blame my literature teacher for the sad use of imagery here. I've found out that writing about the way I view you makes more sense and is kinda therapeutic.

After you cleared high school you moved to the city and I saw you less, those days mobile phones were for the affluent in the society thus I had to wait till you came visiting us upcountry and as you know those visits were rare and you never stayed for long. I always thought that the bond we shared was strong for it was able to survive the separation.

Now to the issue at hand, remember there was a day you ask me whether I was gay? That was months after I cleared high school and I had moved in with you. At the time I denied and I remember being angry with you for it. To tell the truth Sis, I had had gay thoughts but at that moment I was in denial and it was some years later that I accepted myself for who I was. I guess you always had your suspicions about me and you definately knew that I was different. I remember you always saying that I was the most caring, emotional, loving person you knew and yet that I was the most secretive also - Hello, I couldn't have been more gayer than that, well maybe a dragqueen.

You experience first hand my rebellious phase which was quite unique compared to those of my elder brothers. I remember the look you had when I pierced my ear, priceless, then came the dreadlocks, the booze, the raves and the anger(tantrums). You saw them all and you helped me through them all.

I am tearing up so I'll conclude later